You are loved
by MrsCatherineWinter
Summary: Severus thinks about ending his life but Narcissa tries to convince him otherwise...


_First of all, I have to admit that I am not a native speaker, so there might be a few mistakes, but if you were so kind as to write me a message to tell me of them, I would immediately correct them._

 _Disclaimer: All figures belong to Joanne K. Rowling and I don't earn my money with these stories_

 **You are loved**

Narcissa knocked at the door, fast and loud. "Severus?" she shouted. "It's me, Narcissa. Please open."

It took a long time for him to open the door and Narcissa was already worried sick. But when he finally did it and she could look into his pale, sunken face her worries only grew.

"Hello, Narcissa," Severus greeted emotionless. "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried. No one heard anything from you within a week. You didn't answer our owls – I even asked Dumbledore about you but he had no idea as well."

Severus only stared at her. "So?"

"So?" Narcissa screamed. "Severus, you are my best friend! And it's normally not your character to ignore Lucius, Dumbledore or me. So, tell me, what's wrong?"

Severus at first only looked at her, then he sighed, made a step to the side and said: "Alright, come in."

Narcissa hurried inside because she feared he would change his mind again…

They went into the dark living room of Spinner's End. Although it was summer the sky was dull with grey clouds and it would probably rain soon.

After they had sat down and Narcissa had declined tea, there was silence.

"Severus," Narcissa said after a while. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he replied at once.

"Shutting yourself away from the world is not _nothing_!"

He sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"It's too depressing…"

Narcissa went over to sit beside him. "You know that you can talk with me about anything, don't you?"

"Yes. But this will make you cry."

Narcissa swallowed hard. "Okay," she then said. "I want to know it anyway."

Severus looked out of the window where the rain had just started.

"Please," she said and laid her hand on his arm. "I am very worried about you and I want to help you."

Once again he sighed, very deeply. He looked at the blond woman with the agonised gaze beside him and just put his arm around her. "My dear Narcissa. Do you really want to know?"

"Of course," she said and leaned against him, trying to face the following.

"It's just…," he started, then struggled. "It's just that I realised how pointless my life is…"

Narcissa tried to stay as calm as possible. "Why?" she only asked.

"What do I live for? To serve the Dark Lord and Dumbledore at the same time? To risk my life every day for the better end of the war? To teach Potter everything important and still get no gratitude at all from this spoiled, little brat? To teach potions as a cover although I don't like teaching? And to live alone tor the rest of my life?"

"You don't have to live alone," she tried to reason with him.

"Yes, I have," he replied bitterly. "Lily is no more…"

"But there are other women."

"That wouldn't work. She will always be in my head."

Narcissa sighed.

For a while only the rain could be heard in the gloomy room. Then:

"I think about ending my life," Severus admitted.

"What?!" Narcissa exclaimed and sat up to look into his face. "No, don't do that! Don't even think about it!"

"See, I know you would cry…," he said and stroked her side absent-minded.

"No, I don't," she said and wiped away her tears. "Please, think about the people who need you! The people who love you!"

"That's easy," he answered again in a bitter way. "No one needs me and no one loves me."

"That's not true, Severus!" Narcissa said firmly. "You are needed and you are loved!"

"Loved?" he sneered. "By whom?!"

"By me," she whispered.

He stared at her in shock. "But…," he started but Narcissa interrupted him by placing a small kiss on his cheek.

"Yes, Severus. I love you."

"But… but…," Severus started again.

"But what?" she said almost annoyed.

"But Lucius."

Narcissa sighed. "I love you both – but very differently. I can't compare it."

Severus still seemed shocked. Then a very small smile appeared on his lips. He embraced Narcissa firmly and whispered "Thank you" into her ear.

"You're welcome," she smiled. "So will you stay with me in this life?" she wanted to know with an anxious face.

He nodded. "Yes, as long as I am needed, I will."

"Good," Narcissa sighed relieved. "I will always need you."

THE END.


End file.
